A course I am taking makes me think of various times of my life where I was like a cactus, you know those big ones with all the long prickles, but instead of having them on the outside, I had them on the inside. All poking me at once, people would bump into me and hurt me but they couldn’t see my inside-prickles so they weren’t responsible for hurting me. Every day ouch ouch ouch, I was just such a big ball of pain.
It occurred to me that there are so many people living life like this, ouch ouch ouching their way through things and never really feeling anything but varying degrees of pain. Obviously not all of it is physical but if you can imagine (or have already experienced) having recurring back pain, headaches or joint pain and then add on the pain of being accidentally bumped in all your emotional ouchy spots from the prickles that nobody but you knows about, it all adds up to a tender hurting unit.
At times I cried a lot, slept a lot, ate a lot of drive through, was angry and fearful, overcompensated, overanalyzed over did things until I was completely overwrought.
You know what I think this comes from? Not addressing things the minute they appear, not giving myself time to reflect and have a real moment when something unfortunate happens, something sad, something that any normal person would feel anger, sadness, fear, grief over.
Take time and allow myself to have feelings and be in touch with them, be present and feel angry or whatever it is, and then ask myself what it really means to me and if I want to own being angry or just let it go. This could be over the course of 5 minutes, or even a day of really actually genuinely feeling whatever it is that I am feeling.
Then I don’t need to feel it so much anymore, once it’s passed, diffused and genuinely felt.
How about trying that?